It’s no one’s fault really.  It was bound to happen.

My mind is drawing a blank.

I have nothing to say.  No steps to better guitar tone.  No strategies for recruiting.  I don’t have any wisdom to offer on dealing with tricky volunteers.  I have lots of stuff that I could talk about, the real behind the scenes stuff of being a worship pastor, but if I were to go into that it would probably not be very honouring to those I serve with.  I’m always aware that everything I say reflects on my church family so this will always be somewhat filtered.  It’s just the right thing to do.  So, I’m still left with a blank.

I enjoy blogging as an opportunity for me to create something.  It’s such a strange creature though.  I click that blue “publish” button, head over to Hoot Suite, write a few words that should make you want to read my post, and wait for the “hits” to roll in.  I don’t really understand why.  Recognition probably.  A desire to be seen as influential.  ”Wouldn’t it be great if my blog got noticed.”  ”I wish I had as many subscribers as __________.”

ugh…

All those thoughts have been there from the start.  I would say that honestly my intentions are right.  My goal is to have a place to write down thoughts and in doing so become a better communicator.  The blog itself serves as a bit of a ministry tools and ideas filing system.  It’s been pretty cool to see other worship leaders resonate with some of the things I write.  Sometimes we’re just looking for someone to say the thing that we’re all thinking and when that someone says it we grab on.  It’s cool that once in a while that happens here.  I lose sight of the goal sometimes.  I get distracted by my own egotistical wishes.  Don’t we all?

I’m not quitting.  At least not yet.

But I would like to say to all of you that I’m quitting the game.  You are not a statistic to me. You are not an ego boost.  You are not a means to get me more recognition.  All my hope does not depend on you commenting, hitting the ‘like’ button or tweeting my posts.

You are why I chose this as a career.  Your heart matters.  Your ideas matter.  Your faith journey, all the ups and all the downs, it matters.  I love to see people pursuing God together.  I love to see young worship leaders start to grow in confidence as they discover the gifts God has given them and the joy in using them to serve the local church.  I love seeing disenfranchised creatives begin to feel welcomed again into the church, with all their mess, and find a place to make something beautiful that honours God.  I love to see leaders step up into leadership roles, recognizing that they don’t have it all together, but they have a passion to do something great with their lives and it draws others around them.

You matter.  I don’t know how you got here but thanks for reading.

Not sure what else to say.

I’m drawing a blank…