It’s no one’s fault really. It was bound to happen.
My mind is drawing a blank.
I have nothing to say. No steps to better guitar tone. No strategies for recruiting. I don’t have any wisdom to offer on dealing with tricky volunteers. I have lots of stuff that I could talk about, the real behind the scenes stuff of being a worship pastor, but if I were to go into that it would probably not be very honouring to those I serve with. I’m always aware that everything I say reflects on my church family so this will always be somewhat filtered. It’s just the right thing to do. So, I’m still left with a blank.
I enjoy blogging as an opportunity for me to create something. It’s such a strange creature though. I click that blue “publish” button, head over to Hoot Suite, write a few words that should make you want to read my post, and wait for the “hits” to roll in. I don’t really understand why. Recognition probably. A desire to be seen as influential. ”Wouldn’t it be great if my blog got noticed.” ”I wish I had as many subscribers as __________.”
ugh…
All those thoughts have been there from the start. I would say that honestly my intentions are right. My goal is to have a place to write down thoughts and in doing so become a better communicator. The blog itself serves as a bit of a ministry tools and ideas filing system. It’s been pretty cool to see other worship leaders resonate with some of the things I write. Sometimes we’re just looking for someone to say the thing that we’re all thinking and when that someone says it we grab on. It’s cool that once in a while that happens here. I lose sight of the goal sometimes. I get distracted by my own egotistical wishes. Don’t we all?
I’m not quitting. At least not yet.
But I would like to say to all of you that I’m quitting the game. You are not a statistic to me. You are not an ego boost. You are not a means to get me more recognition. All my hope does not depend on you commenting, hitting the ‘like’ button or tweeting my posts.
You are why I chose this as a career. Your heart matters. Your ideas matter. Your faith journey, all the ups and all the downs, it matters. I love to see people pursuing God together. I love to see young worship leaders start to grow in confidence as they discover the gifts God has given them and the joy in using them to serve the local church. I love seeing disenfranchised creatives begin to feel welcomed again into the church, with all their mess, and find a place to make something beautiful that honours God. I love to see leaders step up into leadership roles, recognizing that they don’t have it all together, but they have a passion to do something great with their lives and it draws others around them.
You matter. I don’t know how you got here but thanks for reading.
Not sure what else to say.
I’m drawing a blank…
I can totally relate to what your words speak to here Caleb.
It feels like I’ve been down that very same path, many times already in my life.
All I can add, from what the path I am on has taught me so far, is that sometimes we get that “gut” feeling about something and we act upon it and everything works out as we expected. On the flip side, we can have “gut” feelings, take the same approach and the results end up not being what we expected, or worse, things go badly.
I wonder, if when God created us as subcreators, the artists, musicians, storytellers etc… that we were wired in a way that complete contentment is simply not attainable. After all, if we became content with our skills, our palette if you will, that we would stop striving to reach higher; whether in our own training and skills, or in our perceptions.
Maybe, what really matters most, as creatives gifted with our abilities from God, is that we never stop worshipping Him and using the gifts He blessed us with to touch the hearts of others and bring that glory to God.
The arts seem to touch people in a way that cannot be refuted once they have experienced that awe inspiring moment. I understand that in Walter Issacsons of Steve Jobs, that Steve said that as he could see that his life was coming closer to it’s end, that he thought more and more about if there was a God. He told the author that when he heard the famous cellist Yo-Yo-Ma perform, he was struck by the incredible gift and music that he created, that he knew their must be a God to inspire that level of emotion in music.
God uses moments to touch people’s hearts and bring them back to Him and uses the servants He has blessed with resources and talents to fulfill His plan.
I guess what I am trying to say, is that when we think we have the answers, we are on the wrong path.
When we don’t know what to do, when all we can produce is a blank, at those times we can go to God for wisdom.
Hope that helps
Great thoughts, Chris. Thanks for sharing.
“Go to God for wisdom”. That’s a great reminder. Heard it in the sermon at church this week too.
” You are why I chose this as a career. Your heart matters. Your ideas matter…. I love seeing disenfranchised creatives begin to feel welcomed again into the church, with all their mess, and find a place to make something beautiful that honours God.” -Caleb
What about an older disenfranchised creative? This is a sincere, whole-hearted, hopeful question. Does your vision include integrated worship that is intergenerational, not just what looks hip, cool, slender, young, attractive and appeals to the eyes on the live-streaming webcast? Does your future vision on worship have room for someone who isn’t all that? Or does this person get shuttled off to ‘lead the children’ or ‘sing for the seniors’? Will your worship team reflect the same diversity as the congregation you seek to lead into God’s presence?
Thanks for the whole-hearted question.
I believe intergenerational worship services will always be what I care most about. I’m pretty tired of the “industry standards” too if that’s what you’re referring to with look, feel, and sound of our worship services. It sounds like you and I might need to have a one on one convo about this but in answer to your question I would say this.
I believe God has given people specific gifts for service. Some are strong musicians. Those strong musicians that serve in humility are the ones that I want to be serving with. Some are weaker musicians who love music but music is not their strongest gift and so up front music ministry is likely not for them. Some musicians are weak but show a potential and desire to become strong musicians, and I love working with them. They are often younger and I’m drawn to them. Looks don’t factor into the equation for me though honestly I find myself wrestling with those questions as I erroneously pursue an idea that isn’t from God from time to time. I’ve seen a lot of damage happen when people are disqualified for not fitting an industry created mold.
I think your question deserves a longer answer than this but like I said, maybe we should chat over coffee. Feel free to email me. calebdelamont@gmail.com